If Wishes were Fishes...

I think I've just found an unconscious family loyalty that has come down through at least three generations. Talking to both my older children about how they handle stress revealed this way of being that I recognize quite well: self sufficiency. Being an island onto oneself. Not being able to - or wanting - to ask for help. There is a sense of weakness or failure if you have to surrender to the need for other's support and nourishment.

I see how painful this is for both of my children in many ways - even as it can be a strength and ability to have their own personal authority. (i also see how painful this often is for me.) I don't want for them the inability to ask. I want for them the love and support you can get when you do "fall apart" and touch the core of your wounded heart.

I wish that they had never experienced wounding - yes, I can say that as their mother. As a woman, I know that we each have our path to walk and they are well on the journey for their own enlightenment. It's just hard to see, hard to watch and hard to keep my mouth shut.

I'm really thankful that I've been listening to Marshall Rosenberg's Non Violent Communication - listening with complete empathy was the best gift that I figured I could give.