Teeter Totter

I remember as a kid going to the play grounds of my childhood and finding the teeter totter. I'm not sure if one would call this a toy or a bench or a playground item. We called them seesaws as much as anything else. I liked to climb onto the middle, balancing both legs on each side while other kids went up and down depending on how evenly matched they were in their weight.

My life right now reminds me of those moments – the game I used to play, balancing as the seesawing board went up and down. Adjusting my weight and balance, staying soft in the knees to catch the sudden shifts. I'm feeling my obligations as a parent and wife, cook and family organizer on one side while my job responsibilities and commitments are beginning to play on the other side. I'm curious what is going to fall through the cracks. Exercise? Yard work? Laundry? I would love to think that somehow I will be able to manage everything that I have been taking care of up until this moment as well as a full time job. Which is an insane thing to even partially believe is possible.

AND just because it isn't the same doesn't mean that everything is going to fall apart. I would like to think that somehow I will discover a rhythm to this way of living – that I will figure out a way to continue to live into the moments of my life mindfully.

My choices seem more limited and yet what I choose feels so much more meaningful.

So what, in those choices, am I truly giving up?

Perhaps this is what having quality means as opposed to quantity.