Spring Cleaning

It's been awhile since I've written.

I discovered many years ago that I am a very seasonally based person. When I'm not in grad school that is. Spring has finally come, in fits and spurts this year – but enough mild days have transpired to pull me outside whether on long walks or to work in the garden. Journaling and blogging – and anything too introspective have taken a back seat to pulling weeds, starting my tomato seeds and cleaning out closets. Not that there hasn't been need for some quiet moments of reflection. Between my youngest daughter's full blown arrival into teenhood and my husband's mother continuing to create her own brand of drama, there has been plenty to rock our proverbial boat.

And yet, I am sitting here, in this moment, feeling – content. I have a lot of things on my plate and for the moment they are balancing out. Is it because I took the down time over the last couple of weeks? Is it because I walked four out of the seven days? Is it because I've accepted the way my life is unfolding right now?

I have a new client coming in this week to "check and see if I'm a good fit." On the other hand, my subleasee had to back out due to her own financial constraints. Give and take, positive step forward, one step back. And each new experience gives me an opportunity to be the best person that I can. To walk in my own sense of integrity and allow my life to be filled with grace and compassion. I keep learning through each experience. I know all about subleasing now and I'm clear about the kind of person I want to share space with.

My tomato plants are setting out their first true leaves – under the grow lamp. Lettuce and peas are coming up in the garden and my perennials are starting to take off in the flower beds. I've walked and I've hiked, played with my puppy and sat in front of a fire with my husband talking quietly about the gifts that we have been given. This coming week is more about connection, whether in meetings or in cups of coffee with friends, or seeing my full load of clients on Thursday. (uh – yeah, three). And I wonder what more do I want? What makes me content in this moment can quite easily slip into the 'shoulds or oughts' of expectations. Maybe that's something I need to spend some time reflecting about.