A new week

"To light a candle is to cast a shadow" - Starhawk

I can't quite articulate my mood. I'm caught between the lightness that exists right now in my life as well as some dark shadows that hover so close. Managing the balance feels easier right now and that, alone, is reason enough to celebrate.

In ways that are surprising to me, this systemic viewpoint that we have learned is living in my body and experience right now. I am seeing odd patterns and interelated processes that don't offer me any answers. Yet.

What does differentiation really mean in relation to what I have just been through over the last two years? How has my relationship with A shifted around the tensions of I-We-You. How has that manifested in our way of being with each other? With our children? Within our communities?

What does S.'s symptoms mean in possible relation to how many transitions this family of ours has gone through? She's off kilter, dizzy, can't see clearly and feels pressure. I think that's been true for all of us but none of us have felt it on such a physiological scale. What does it look like to bring relief to her - to take some of the burdens from her young shoulders, give her undivided attention, nourishment and listening? What does it look like for me to give this to myself, for us to give this to each other?

I'm fascinated in the possibilities.

And I don't need to know what all of this means - it is what it is. Questions and pondering that can actually happen because I am pausing, taking a breath and wondering.