Graduation festivities

I would really like to say that this weekend is a joyous celebration of my middle child graduating from high school. It should be a moment to feel pride and gratitude for all the she has accomplished and the exciting new adventure that is waiting for her.

And for reasons that are almost too hard to write about, this weekend became about broken promises, anger and frustration. I'm also sitting with a particularly difficult case that breaks my heart just thinking about it. I will need my clearest sense of self and empathy to sit in a session on Monday. This weekend offers no respite, no mindful clearing - not even a chance to clear the air and realign with my partner prior to Monday.

Then there is the fact that this weekend should be about my daughter. It is her graduation, after all. How can I let go of this inner pain without shoving it away where it will fester? How can I release my frustration out to the universe without absolving behavior that is unacceptable to me?

I want to release, forget, shrug off these feelings and just enjoy the weekend. I want to find some peace of mind before Monday so that I can be present in the way that I would want someone to be with me. I want to bask in the glory of my child - her radiance and brilliance as she takes her diploma. I want to smile at my in-laws as I play hostess to family.

Most of all, I want to find a silent, still pond to sit by.