Finding time for what matters most

I got home late last night - I was with a client until 8 and dragged myself in the door around 8:30. The good news is - that my youngest actually missed me ...and the bad news is...my youngest is missing her momma being home all the time. Well, its not about being good or bad, but I certainly knew, even as she shrugged her shoulders to appear nonchalant about the whole thing, that she misses having me home when she gets here.

A.'s been gone too - working late or seeing friends when I'm home. We've had back to back social engagements and really, the last few weeks have been hard enough without having a social life on top of it that doesn't include kids.

Part of me would love not being responsible for someone else's sense of security and happiness. I would love to meet friends for drinks, go on dates, get caught up in paperwork and forget what time it is. Make food that I actually like to eat. Spend time on my boat.

And, as I heard her observation about how much we've been gone - I felt very, very clear about how much MORE important my love for my daughter is. I looked at A. and we kind of nodded together. Yep, we're gonna be in sync on that one. After she went to bed - after proper rough housing, laughter and talking about that stupid boy in her class - I had to sigh. Exhausted from a long day and filled with the knowing that what I am doing right now is effecting more than just my own life, I felt especially tired. We'll both miss certain things - but I can certainly try and spend better quality time with her - and A. and the other kids - when those opportunities roll around.

Okay, now if I can just infuse myself with the energy to do anything beyond crawling into bed...