Commencement: Part One

The title of this reflects the fact that I have three children and one of them, my oldest has walked across the stage and received a college diploma. I sat down in my seat at the Chan Performance Center on the UBC campus and felt my body relax. The circus of the last few days had been all about this moment: In Laws arriving in town. Traveling up to Vancouver. My parents having to travel separate from each other – kids arranged between different groups of grandparents. Playing host and hostess for dinner without choking on dessert when the final bill came. Sleeping in yet another hotel room and waiting in line to get in to the ceremony. Wearing sandals and a skirt in the proverbial northwest rainy weather.

I made sure I sat next to my husband. That was the one thing that I wanted. He leaned over to me, taking my hand, "We've really come full circle." I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to say more. He said, "I met your parents for the first time at our graduation day – you met my family for the first time that day too." And little did either of us know how soon our families would be coming together. My oldest child was, unbeknownst to me, growing in my womb that day of graduation. Now I was watching him graduate from college at the same age. So young and so much more mature and sure of himself than I was at his age.

Full circle. As the pomp and circumstance began I was also acutely aware of another way that I felt a circle completing itself. This was the first time that my husband and I found ourselves acting as shepherds for our parents. There was a need for us to organize, direct, lead and handle the details of their travel as much as our own. It wasn't to a high degree – they all are only in their sixties and seventies – but I noticed a shift of attention and energy that had never pulled at me before. I realized that this first brush with stewardship for the elders of the family was only the beginning. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It tastes strange with a slightly bitter aftertaste.

Finally my son's name was called and he walked across the stage in his black gown and red edged hood and cap. Tall and still a bit gangly, shaking the hand of the chancellor and his professor, I felt the sting of tears. Gratitude filled me. How lucky am I to be the mother of this amazing and brilliant young man. How deeply satisfying it is to have been able to give him this education and see him excel. I felt all the years that had gone by to bring this moment into focus and the love that had sparked my own journey to this moment. Lives intertwining; lives created. Lives well lived. What a circle that is.