Pitbulls and Hockey Moms

Sarah Palin's joke goes like this: What's the difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom? Lipstick.

Perhaps there is a big difference between mothers of hockey players and mothers of soccer players – and yet, in Sarah Palin's world, since she interchanges the hockey rink for the soccer field in her stump speeches, I'm going to assume that her answer is no – there is no difference. Her implication is that the mothers who stand on the fields of sports watching their children compete have all the wonderful traits of a pitbull.

Personally, I'm kind of insulted. I've never attacked anyone, I'm not hostile towards strangers or exhibit aggressive behavior. That's what pitbulls are best known for. They are a stigmatized breed known for their ability to fight, maim and be aggressive. And yes, I'm sure they can make fine pets. Pitbulls and small children are not always the best combination. I'm sorry, I've heard people rave about the more aggressive breeds of dogs and I would never own a pitbull or a doberman and have small children in the same house. They are known as an unpredictable breed – at least culturally – wonderful one minute and mauling the neighbor in her yard the next. This is what we hear about pitbulls – this is how most people identify this dog. Isn't it sweet to know that Sarah Palin identifies herself with this breed?

Beyond the pseudo facts that we have about the dog – heck, forget the dog and think about what she is saying. I am going to make a huge assumption here and say that she is identifying with a pitbull as a tenacious and protective parent. The inference that the hockey/soccer mom's of this country are standing over their children with teeth bared is fairly frightening. I've been to some of those games – where sportsmanship is not what our children are learning, no, they are, in fact, in a life or death struggle that determines their worthiness. Winning is all the matters. Losing is, well, for losers.

I know that Ms. Palin was being cute and folksy – trying to show the American people that she understands the trials of being a parent – the work involved, the energy and the fear. And I believe she has actually tapped into a reality that I have seen played out over and over in any parent/child arena. Too many parents today look at their child's success and failures as life or death struggles – instead of the learning opportunities that they are. Parents live and breathe their children's lives, focused on some sort of end goal that is more of a score card instead of a toolbox of skills that that young person can take out into the world. It's pretty easy to morph into the pitbull mentality – but it's a pretty narrowly focused viewpoint. It is a hostile and protective stance that certainly doesn't teach our youth how to open their hearts and listen to their own inner knowing.

So this soccer mom rejects Palin's analogy and hopes that as we all raise our children, we can find the compassion and gentleness of, say, a golden retriever. I'd rather live in a world of love and trust and optimism then cold distrust and fear.